Lindsay from Frenzal Rhomb - A chat and a cuppa

Kristy Wandmaker has a chat to Lindsay from Frenzal Rhomb somewhere between catching up on sleep and pimping his music on ebay...

Slightly offensive questions first:

There's so many other things (JJJ, political interests) and there's been no new releases since forever. Are you guys even really a band anymore?

Of course not. We were never a band. We have always been no more than a business interest; a stock price based on projective earnings. We believe in the power of the markets, the futures markets, and therefore our current worth in based entirely on our predicted future growth, in our own opinion. Which, as I¹m sure you realise, is sky-high. If you don¹t think that makes sense, check out the Enron story, they stole their whole schtick from us.

Will you still be getting around to town halls in your wheelchairs? Who decides when it¹s time to pack it in?

We have a very diplomatic and democratic exit strategy here at Frenzal Rhomb. We take a straw poll at the end of every gig, and the one with the shortest straw leaves. Luckily, for the last 3 years, it's always been the tour manager or guitar tech, so the band has remained intact. Rest assured if one of us 4 ever draw the short straw, we'll be out of here faster than John Howard can shout "Suck me off, Pru!"

Respectful, deserving questions:

You guys have been around long enough to evolve, but haven¹t really changed (this is a good thing!). You're problems with authority just seem to have moved focus from your mum to the PM. What has and hasn"t changed over the Frenzal lifespan?

Well, the most obvious shift is that Jason's mum became the PM. The lyrical change was prompted by that very natural occurrence. Apart from that, moving out of home has helped, Jason was 30 when he finally did, I did at 25 (forgot where it was), Gordy simply shifted suckling bosoms from his mum's
to his wife¹s, and Tom¹s currently cuddled up in his dad's arms, as his dad softly whispers: "And that¹s the way we saw the world, I¹m Kevin Crease, goodnight."

Seriously though, we just copy whatever the Living End¹s writing about. They seem to get the chicks.

One thing Frenzal always seem to do is make sure they play as many all/under age gigs as possible. Is this a conscious choice? If so, what¹s the reasoning behind it?

Sex, drugs and alcohol. They're the three reasons. Well, primarily the absence of all three. In our middle-aged, AA-dependant and celibate states, we rely on the sensible and mature under-agers to remind us that we don't need booze, narcotics, and one night stands to enjoy ourselves, that just a zest for life coupled with a healthy disregard for our own safety can ensure a night to remember. Oh, and Tom, our bass player¹s only 15, so otherwise he couldn¹t get into the gigs.

With the new morphing of punk into mainstream, have the audiences grown in size and receptiveness? Is this growth proportional to the shrinking oftheir jeans?

We all know that Punk, as we know it here in Australia, died the very minute that Johnny O¹Keefe stopped fucking his 10 year old sister (and not, as many people think, the minute Peter Garrett joined the Labour Party). So the question¹s academic. But regardless of what happens to our audience, as long as there¹s a majority of boys in off-the-rack Dangerfield Ramones shirts in black mascara who think the Birthday Party's something they do once a year at Maccas, and chicks with the latest Dead Kennedies ringtone and nipple extenders, then I know all is right in this world.

Band relevant, fan type questions:

Have you heard that Russell Crowe has started a new band (The Ordinary Fear Of God)? Will it inspire you to write a song?

I like how Rusty's kept the band's acronym the same (TOFOG). I hope that he does the same with his favourite sporting group, because without him, the Canberra University Netball Team just would be the same.

There's so many of your earlier singles that are now "rare" and worth a bit of money, will you ever re-release any?

Of course. On Ebay. In about 15 minutes, as soon as can upload the photos. Bid high my friends!

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